Then he thought about how to get out of there, quick. That’s a mighty fine place for an arrow to stick!” There’s a spot on your belly without any jewel! There isn’t a sword that could make this worm bleed!”īut inside he was scornful, and thought, “You old fool!” The dragon rolled over and crowed, “Yes indeed! “For really, I do want to see your hide badly!” “I do wish you’d show me,” the Hobbit sighed sadly. “I’m armoured all over: I cannot be killed!” “You’ve heard rather wrongly,” said Smaug, anger-filled. In the finest of waistcoats: all but the – er – chest.” “ I’ve heard,” squeaked our hero, “That dragons are dressed Revenge? I have never heard such utter rot!” My breath is like death, it is fiery hot: My wings beat a hurricane, flattening fields. My claws are like spearheads, my armour like shields, I gobbled the women before they could weep! I ate up his kin like a wolf among sheep! “King under the mountain is dead, that’s my work. This laugh was so terrible it shook the floor,Īnd gave the poor Dwarves quite a shock at the door. Or else I don’t really know where he’d have been!) (Forgetting of course, that he couldn’t be seen, Then Smaug laughed a laugh that was dreadfully loud.īilbo fell to his feet and quite terrified, bowed. Oh no! Our main mission, you see, was REVENGE. We journeyed o’er hill, not for gold and lozenge You must know that hate can get rather unhealthy. “I’m rather afraid that you’re all in a mixĪbout who’s kidding who, and who’s playing the tricks. He meant to stay true to his friends, and not worry. Given thought to the riches that he’d have to haul.īut from small Hobbit heart to his feet, soft and furry, Poor Bilbo was speechless! He hadn’t at all Think of the guards, and of paying the tollings!” Why think of the cartings! The haulings! The rollings! I expect you feel clever, and sure of rewardįor finding them things like that cup from my hoard.Īnd if they do pay you, what then, goodness me!ĭid they offer to help you take back your whole fee? Why else would you have fourteen ponies with you? Why don’t you say fourteen, I quite know it’s true! Which brought us from out of the world to your hold-” “I hope you know, Smaug, it was not only gold I could smell Dwarf in the thickest of fog,ĭon’t insult me, Ring-winner, for I am Great Smaug!” I know when I’ve eaten a Dwarf-ridden horse. “Yes, I know the smell, and the taste of nice Dwarfs, With his heart in his stomach and fear in his eyes. “Dwarves!?” cried poor Bilbo, pretending surprise, You may walk unseen, but you don’t walk alone!Īnd Dwarves are worse friends than a stick or a stone.” I’ll tell you a thing in return for the meal. Those nags were quite good, so I’ll make you a deal. Then chew it up nicely: it’s crunchy and sweet!īut if you can do it, it’s scrumptious to eat!) You boil it up nicely and chop off the feetĪnd barbeque crisply the rest of the meat, So did the five others, just like ponies should. “Was Barrel your pony? Then he tasted quite good. “I’ll burn them to bits like they’re mice in a cage!” I haven’t been there since I grew old and sage. “ I haven’t been there for an age and an age, In Esgaroth, barrels were common as birds. That most of the names would do him little good.īut one thing he took from the thief’s witty words: Smaug was quite smart and he well understood Where are you from, and what’s your name? I’ve heard of your grandness, O master of fires,Īnd I’m quite glad to say that my friends are not liars! Was if you’re as great as they said you would be! The one wonderful thing that I came here to see (Show me a more ambitious crossover event than that, Infinity War!) So without further ado, may I present a portion of The Hobbit, rewritten by yours truly in the style of Dr. I ended up placing a proud second in that contest, but after stumbling across my poem again recently, I’ve decided to share it on my own blog. A poem that combined two radically different authors/genres, one of which was one of my favourite books? How could I resist! (Yes, I know I’m weird.) But another of my passions, as those who have been following my blog will know, is writing poetry.Ī few years ago, I entered a contest which required me to re-write a portion of J.R.R. I genuinely find this stuff fun and exciting. I have spent time examining hamartia in Satan (Milton’s), Smeagol, and Shylock, looking at how Charlotte Bronte employs landscape, and comparing Jane Austen with Charles Dickens. As a student of literature, it’s kind of my job to look for connections between books and authors and themes.
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